In therapy, I faced my past, initially devoid of memories from my first 7 years. Now, I remember everything.
Early trauma from my mother’s postpartum depression and my father’s explosive temper haunted my childhood. At 4, during one of his outbursts, I questioned why God left me with this monster. The answer came in a rush of energy: “You’ve got me.”
I prayed for freedom from my father and healing. I knew I was different, placed in the “slow reading group” in first grade, feeling ashamed and asking for help. Instead, I was told to try harder.
A pivotal moment was when I brought home a less-than-perfect report card. My father’s anger echoed in my ears, comparing me unfavorably to my sister. It led to a misguided evaluation for ADD, which I hoped would lessen his expectations, but it didn’t.
My home was a tumultuous place. My parents, complete opposites, found solace in each other’s trauma. I’ve forgiven my father, recognizing the cycle of abuse and trauma. His past, marked by an abusive father and his mother’s tragic suicide, shaped him.
Narcissists often arise from unresolved trauma. My father’s path mirrored this pattern: success, a beautiful wife, and a lack of empathy. He thought money mattered most, and his hurtful words left scars.
I worked on forgiving him, viewing him as “The Accidental Abuser,” unaware of the harm he caused. This perspective was key to my forgiveness journey, aided by spiritual experiences during trauma treatment.
I encountered God as a radiant sun, Mother Nature’s loving embrace, and a whispering wind of forgiveness. In the hospital, I told my father I loved him, hoping he found peace.
Through therapy and spiritual insight, I’ve transformed my past into a source of healing and forgiveness.
All I ever wanted was to heal and heal others. That is why I am here. And I would be honored to have the opportunity to contribute to your healing.